Why do you suppose that when little girls win an award, have their first recital, or dress up in ballroom gowns from mother’s closet, they want daddy there to see? And all the agony young women go through—relational tensions, boyfriends and break-ups, diets and prom nights, always secretly comparing themselves with other young women—what is fueling that? Our search for delight. Like a man’s search for validation, this is the deepest search in a woman’s life. But ours is distinctly feminine. Even if we can’t quite put it into words, every woman is haunted by the question,“Do you delight in me? Will I be chosen, wanted, seen, fought for?”
Our search for delight began with our fathers; a girl is meant to learn the answer to her core question from daddy. While she learns the nature of femininity from mom, she learns whether or not it is valued from dad. And here is where tragedy strikes. “Do you delight in me?” Too often the response is silence, scorn, or contempt: “Not really…only if you perform…you are actually a disappointment to me.” In the case of abusive fathers, our question is answered in a devastating way.
And so the recovery of a woman’s heart begins with coming to see the way in which your deepest question got answered, how your father and the men in your life handled your heart, and how all that has shaped you into the woman you have become. More importantly, it comes with the healing of the wounds that brought those answers and finding a new source of love and delight from your true Father. He says to us, You are lovely. Do not hide your face from me. Come to me. I love you. Let me heal you.
You are seen. You are loved. You have been chosen by the Greatest Heart in the universe. And he would love to answer your deepest question.