Do you know that feeling of returning home after being away for a while? Perhaps you’ve been out of town on vacation, visiting the in-laws, stuck on a desert island or had your head in the sand and you walk back into you house just as you left it three, eight, seventeen or one-hundred-seventy-five days ago and you exhale and, for better or worse, you’re home! The plants need watering but the big easy chair beckons, you should unpack the car but you sort through the mail, your bed feels more comfortable then ever, there’s no food in the fridge but the cookies are still in the cupboard… you can kick off the shoes and relax… you’re home and it feels great!
That’s how I began to feel today.
Reentry, a retaking possession of my “health”, “wellness”, sanity, senses, heart… I felt like I was… back home.
This chemo treatment was tough - I know, I know, each of them are tough and each one of them is tougher than the other; it’s true! It’s horribly true.
I still feel like damaged goods but I’m home. In the same way you can tell I’ve been camping by the fact that I smell like smoke, am wearing a torn plaid flannel shirt and a faded Cabela’s Camo hat; you can tell I just had a rough ride with chemo by the fatigue, stomach doing gymnastics, aches, foggy brain and a 1,000 yard stare. But there’s also a smile on my face and a gratefulness that:
- I survived!
- God is good… so good, so very good. (Yes! There were times He didn’t seem near, or share my desire for relief of discomfort/pain/distress, yet, when I had no faith or strength He was there!)
- I have family and friends who’ve covered me with prayer, grace, love, patience, support, kindness, mercy and life-words for month after month
- My Medical Team, Chemo and God are viciously annihilating cancer cells throughout my body.
- I think I’m a different man now than I was seven months ago.
- A party is planned when my final Eleanor-Roosevelt-cheese caking-feather-tuffed chemical romance is completed.
Thank you for your prayers and support!