WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER

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Nine weeks ago I stood before 21 married couples and welcomed them to the first session of Love & War, a nine-week marriage series based on John and Stasi Eldredge's latest book. I had led a regular small group of 10 couples through other marriage studies before, but this was totally different. I'm thankful that the material the Eldredge's provided was so well-written and thorough; all I had to do each week was introduce the material and facilitate my own small discussion group. When I first suggested to our small group that we leave our regular format and offer the Love & War study to the church, I guessed we might pick up three or four couples. I was blown away when 12 couples signed up. Clearly, there was an interest in the subject, but I believe the personal invitations we extended also contributed to the large turn out.

Each week we watched the DVD as John and Stasi recapped the week's reading from the book. Then, we would break up into smaller discussion groups to go through the questions in the participant's guide. By week two, regular groups had formed as people got to know each other. It was encouraging to see personal connections being made. Not every couple made it to every session, and there were a few couples who decided the experience was too much to handle. But, by the end of the nine weeks, couples were telling me that the series challenged them; they were having conversations they never thought possible. During some discussions there were some tears, a few arguments, but also a lot of laughs as each spouse realized the issues they were dealing with were not unique to just their marriage.

One of the great things about the Love & War study is that it is not simply a "how to" guide of 10 steps to a better marriage. It is not a collection of generalized marriage tips, but a journey "back to the garden." John and Stasi establish some firm principles right from the beginning, such as "marriage is hard, but you are not alone" and "God is intimately interested in your marriage because he put it together and it serves a purpose greater than you." The fact that both John and Stasi (as well as the other three couples in their own small group) were willing to share some of the deep things about their marriage which made the series feel more like "we are all in this together" and less like "we have all the answers so just shut up and listen."

I'm thankful that God placed Love & War at our disposal and that the response to the study has been overwhelmingly positive. One of the discussion groups became so close they are seriously considering forming a regular small group!  We provided a short survey to evaluate what folks thought of the series. About half the people had never been part of a marriage study but 91% of all the couples said they would recommend Love & War to a friend. My hope is that my wife and I can facilitate another round of Love & War in the near future.

Thank you John and Stasi!

- Justin

 

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