When I hop on Facebook, which I confess, I haven’t been doing as faithfully as I want to be, it always asks me my “Status” and 90% of the time, I want to write “I’m tired.” But that isn’t very cheery or encouraging so I let that pass and dig down into what is more deeply true. “I’m loved.”
I am loved. But I’m tired.
Physically. Emotionally. And yes that bleeds into spiritually.
How ‘bout you?
I was just with a woman who experiences her life as the strongest and smartest person in her world. She can outthink anyone. She can mentally outmaneuver and brilliantly dance with her words. She holds things together in her demanding position at work and in her relationships.
And she’s exhausted. Keeping all those balls in the air with no permission to be weak, to let down or to lean into someone else’s strength takes a toll on a gal.
Her story isn’t mine. I’m neither the strongest nor the brightest in my world. In fact, I currently feel like the weakest.
This never ending leg and glut injury has my heart discouraged. Deeply. Additionally, I have been having a number of tests over the past 4 months for a health issue that had my imagination running amuck. Yesterday, I got a clean bill of health. I didn’t even know how much I had been carrying.
My times with God haven’t involved long times in the Word or even much worship but instead an adult coloring book. I color away while meditating on one scripture. Very soothing. I recommend it if you can make the space to sit still for more than a moment. Sitting still for more than a moment is also something I recommend.
At the beginning of each year, John and I pray and ask Jesus what his “word” or scripture is over our lives for the whole year. In that past, it’s been “Intimacy” (yay!) or “Follow” (yes!). Sometimes it takes me more than a month to hear anything.
Last night he answered. The word is “Fresh”.
Oh my. I need fresh. It feels like the opposite of tired. Just hearing his word and intention over my life breathes new hope into the places that have become weary. I am so grateful.
So, wherever you are at, and I mean WHEREVER you are at…I want to encourage you to ask your Father for his intention, his word over this next season over your life. And then wait. Keep asking until you hear. And when you do hear (and you will), WRITE IT DOWN. Put it on your mirror. Write it at the beginning of your journal. Dive into the word and explore it in scripture. Camp in it.
I’m sure going to. Because “tired” is not what Jesus has for me. I’m not running from it or pretending I’m not feeling it but I am saying YES to God. I desire the fresh wind of life that God has for me. And I want it for you too.