"Without a friend you cannot live," said A'Kempis, "and if Jesus be not above all a friend to you, you will be sad and desolate."
Ain't that the truth.
We often don't recognize our desolation for what it really is - missing Jesus. A longing for Jesus. After all, he is our life. Without him, there is no life.
So our basic task, whatever else it is we might be doing, is to find Jesus, and stay with him. Not an easy thing to do, as you've discovered. But here is one thing that will help you immensely both find Jesus, and find a closer union with him: Love Him. Just start loving Jesus. Whatever the emotions you are feeling, whatever it is you are facing, just return to loving Jesus. "Jesus, I love. I love you. I love you."
It will open the door for him to come closer; it opens our heart to experience him with us; it also ushers in his presence into those parts of our lives where we find it most hard to find him. Love Jesus there, in those very places. I literally say, "Jesus, I love you in this, right here, in this. I love you Jesus."
It will help. And having Jesus, well, is the best thing you can ever have. Nothing else even comes close.