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posted on 04/17/2014

Nine days, five guys in their 20s, two codgers, a single bottle of tequila, and a “We vastly underestimated this” adventure in the Utah wilderness provided every necessity for a clan of hearts inquiring and offering.

We rode mountain bikes and drove the White Rim Trail. It’s a trail/road in the same sense that a tightrope is a walkway. It was like driving bumper cars on a double black diamond ski run. It was wild. Great. Over our heads and so righteous.

Adventure is a sacrament for men; we partake and we’re present to God and one another, more engaged, and truer than we are otherwise. And so, sitting stream side in the terra cotta talc powder that is Canyonland’s dirt, we swapped...

posted on 03/05/2014

About a year ago at a post-chemo appointment I raised the issue of a few aggravating side effects I was experiencing. The aftermath of my treatment had left me with a couple of ongoing physical issues and the odious “Chemo Brain”—a processing problem that diminishes one’s short-term memory, focus, and multi-tasking abilities.

The “Chemo Brain” plays out with me in mid-conversation as I rifle through my mental files trying to remember the name that goes with the face I’m melting down before… the name...

Joy
posted on 08/11/2013

 

Sometimes it’s hard to put words to the deepest longings of our soul—this picture captures one of mine.

I see intimacy, ecstasy...the absolute, total joy of my grandson, Jameson, surfing with his father, Jared.

For Jameson there is no sin, no brokenness, no settling, or portioning, no holding back or muting of his desire. He is with his father, experiencing his father's love, sharing in his adventure, safe, alive, free and knowing the fullness of everything a two-year-old young boy can possibly experience. Jameson is in the presence of his father and his God.

I so long for the same! You?

Joy is the infallible sign of the presence of God.” — Pierre...

posted on 03/26/2013

I’m overwhelmed looking at a very full email inbox. I get the same feeling looking at a stack of unpaid bills. Overdue bills.

How does so much time pass between my good intentions, responding promptly, and my actual follow through? It’s embarrassing. Worse yet, I really don’t want to lose touch with those God has circled around me.

I’m exposed as someone I wish I weren’t.

I get that technology is a squawking hole luring me into the godless pursuit of being present/connected to everyone, anyone. I feel no guilt on that front! However, there are characters that move in and out of our story as the chapters roll by… characters you love, bleed with; men and women who’ve found a...

posted on 02/26/2013

 

Over the last several months I hit a bottom, probably not The Bottom, but a true and new bottom for me… an immobilizing of my heart, passion, soul, relationships, and spirit. I feared my state. I could share the back story but that’s not the story. This is the story…

I’m at my desk staring at the computer waiting for either the inspiration, energy, or focus to accomplish a little something that might affirm my being an image-bearer of the Most High Eternal Triune God of Creation, when a Staff Member steps in to say something about something and disrupts my glazed stare.  I think she was sent by God to pierce the fog of my life and leave behind some sort...

posted on 12/04/2012

It’s Tuesday evening and I’m spent, dizzy from a full day chasing my tail, accomplishing nothing.  Yep, I’m living life large on 3 cylinders futzing around the house; reorganizing my junk drawer; opening bills and clipping them smartly to their envelopes while stacking them alphabetically; updating my shopping list to include AAA batteries; straightening up the bathroom sink…updating my Facebook status and feeding the dog. All of this activity staving off the accusation that I’m a lazy slouch, none of this activity touching the ache of my soul to offer my gloriously unique gifting for the furtherance of the Kingdom today. These stop-and-go, haphazard, fretfully distracted days filled with small...

posted on 10/11/2012

I'm preparing to speak to 400 women at our women’s Captivating Retreat this Saturday on "Loving A Man". I'm pretty excited about sharing my sagely heart, what an honor! (My next thought is, ?!%$@! What a weight… 350 husbands depending on me to step up and into the gap advocating for them!)

It’s been a sweet time allowing the desires of my masculine heart regarding a woman’s love surface. Memories, moments, disappointments and the lingering joys of 38 years of my marriage to Lori rise. I’m in a good place, God is present, I’m smiling, reflecting and writing. Then I think, "Hey, what do some of the great love songs have to say about love from a man...

posted on 10/08/2012

“Every time a man knocks on a brothel door, he is really knocking for God”

 - G.K. Chesterton

 

I pick up the phone and as the unexplained sobs abate I hear the story of a man’s life, marriage and family being shattered by his secret, sexual, sin exploding to the surface.

Too many times, too many very good men, blindsided women, and innocent familes butchered.

In every case, it’s what Chesterton is hitting on, beneath all sexual sin is the quest for something totally non-sexual. Ultimately it’s a search for the exhilaration that we were designed for, crave deeply and only find...

posted on 08/21/2012

She’s disappeared.

Several years ago my mom was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia.

If it’s true that the window of the soul is the eye, my mom’s windows are smudged and opaque, silver, muted in color and passion. Glazed, lost, disoriented… confused.

To think of life without my mom seems unthinkable. No more mom, who with knowing eyes can speak mercy, love and kindness into my life. Gone are the life affirming hugs. Her embrace is now a grasp… a searching for the strength and hope that there is indeed a future… a heaven, another land, a river to cross… life again. She’s embracing me in her last days as I did her in my first.

Her memory, our names... life is...

posted on 06/19/2012

I’d forgotten how sentimental the movie “Father of The Bride” is.  Together, our staff took a long lunch to watch the film and encourage our colleague Brad Beck, who will be “giving away” his daughter Brianne this weekend.

Somewhere near the middle of the movie a transition took place; I was no longer watching a comedy starring Steve Martin, I was caught up in the memories, remembering, reliving and savoring the season, ceremony and celebration of my two daughter’s weddings.

The movie ended and I swam home to linger in my journals, giving my heart permission to enjoy the life I live and the family encircling me.

I'd like to share a few of my journal entries from...

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