Round 2 of the 6 Round Event begins tomorrow here at my local hospital/cancer center. The drugs I took over the course of four days last month at MD Anderson will be given Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.
I started to write a lengthy update of what's going on but lost energy. Hopefully our website will be further along and I can post/send out more info later in the week/weekend. Here's a summary:
- Symptoms. Fatigue, on various "lower levels" is pretty consistent. I lost 15 lbs. on first treatment and gained 6 back the last 10 days. I'm a little muddled in my ability to prioritize things (it's an interesting twist, everything looks like a "10" in importance; going to the hardware store to get 2 replacement 60 watt bulbs for an unoccupied guest bedroom feels just as important as calling the insurance company to argue the legitimate need of 1 (one) $40,000.00 drug. At times I catch myself staring at my "To Do List" frozen in a funky paralysis). I'd love your prayers for the side effects of chemo.
- My next two treatments, this month and next, will be locally. The local center has an entirely different spirit/feel. It's darker, less hope, grim… The patients seem… Resigned… To cancer, to suffering… To death(?). I hope I'm wrong, nonetheless, I'm a little anxious about the heebie-jeebies that may come my way. I'd love your prayers for a wall of protection against the spiritual forces of darkness that would love to overrun my heart.
- Though Lori and my friends have been incredibly supportive I often feel very alone. It's not a loneliness that the presence of others resolves. It's the byproduct of fear. Every time the waves hit God rescues me… The timing is, at times, not what I would choose; thus, fear and "aloneness" seems to linger longer than my strength to battle.
- I'd love your prayers for my wife and family, this is harder on them than they know.
My ultimate prayer is for life; the life of God way beyond my ability to manage, govern, control or resist; the life of God in my mortal body.
I will update you as soon as I can.